Funniest Horse Names

25th March 2020

Sometimes in racing the odd name slips through the net that leaves us all in stitches. Here we give you the low down on the top eight that tickled us when running on the track.

Hoof Hearted

Another one to say quickly and you’ll get the joke. Unfortunately, this horse stinks on the racecourse – in 10 races the South African-based Hoof Hearted finished either last or second to last. Peee-eew!


Ahoy! This pirate-inspired name of this horse was always a pain for live commentators. On the plus side, this horse is probably the only one around able to say his own name! Watch the commentators twist their tongues around this one here:


Unless the commentator is up to date with their singing lessons, this one makes for a real tongue twister. Sadly for them they had no choice but to master it as this horse went on to win good races around the world.


This horse definitely did have the force – Obi-Wan would be proud. After winning his first race by a neck, he went on to finish fifth in the Melbourne Cup – the most famous race in Australia. We can also confirm that Darth Vader was not his father, it was actually a horse from New Zealand called Zabeel.

Ha Ha Ha

Imagine commentating on a race involving a horse with this silly name and keeping a straight face! Unfortunately, in his six-race career he finished last twice and was pulled up before the winning post on two other occasions, so his owners probably weren’t laughing then.

Passing Wind

You wouldn’t want to be riding behind this horse, and that’s probably why he won two of his races – the other riders didn’t want to bring up the rear!


Life is full of lots of tricky questions, but we’re not sure ‘why kick a moo cow?’ is one of them. This is one of the most bizarre names ever given to a race horse, but we’re not complaining.